Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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