Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize