She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
