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i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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