why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
