too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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