Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
