The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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