is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize