Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
