On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
