You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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