Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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