So drunk its hurt
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
