You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
