According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
