My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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