So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I need water and some morals
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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