You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My ATM looks so different sober.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
