i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
