she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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