It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
