From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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