I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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