I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize