Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize