Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
