Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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