I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
