She just used a chaser for red wine.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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