it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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