It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
