So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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