Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize