i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
