4 words: hood of his car
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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