Please, let me fuck your mom
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
