He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
