Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
