You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Alive.
So much puke
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
