Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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