god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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