the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
