so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
