nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
