I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
