Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
