You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
