You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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