I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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