Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
why do cheetos always look like penises
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Drake has all the answers
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
