I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
