i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
