I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
