some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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