dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
