dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
