She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
only you would photoshop your dick
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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